my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
