Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
