Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
