just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
