i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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