I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
