how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
