dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
And then my night got REAL pukey
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
