Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
