suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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