We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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