doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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