You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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