Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
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