That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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