He disabled his match.com account in front of me
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
