I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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