Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
