Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
