HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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