All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Non-Jews are for practice
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
