a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
