just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My life is pants optional.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
