Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
