When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
