I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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