This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
