i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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