the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
