I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
