maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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