If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
