New invention idea: vibrating tampons
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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