i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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