drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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