Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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