oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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