Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
