on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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