you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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