You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
