i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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