i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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