the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
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