I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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