I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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