I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
