Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
