Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
