Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
